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Julian's Perspective

Hilary and I were having dinner one night a couple of months ago at one of our favourite restaurants, the Sha-Lin Noodle Restaurant. We were brainstorming about how to celebrate my 30th birthday. We weren't coming up with much. After dinner we went for a walk in and around False Creek. It was one of those Vancouver evenings when the rain is held at bay and everything is so lush and quiet. We talked about all kinds of things. Law school, work, buying houses, our families, old flings, careers, dreams. It wasn't atypical for us to talk about all these kinds of things, but that night was somehow extra special. I decided then that the way I wanted to celebrate my 30th was to propose to Hilary.

I knew that I wanted Hilary to be part of the ring buying process; after all, it's the woman who has to wear the thing for the rest of her life. But I also knew that, like a crack in a dyke, the moment I seriously broached the subject, I would be able to sustain the pressure for only so long, and making the proposal a surprise would be a supreme challenge.

Soon after that dinner we went browsing at the major retailers downtown. I also called a family friend who is gemologist. Michael and his wife Ronda, who's a jewellery designer, could source the stone and do a custom setting design. After much deliberation Hilary and I agreed to "go custom." (You can see the result here. We are very happy with it and would be happy to introduce you to Ronda and Michael if you're shopping for a special piece.)

Although Hilary had a vague idea of what was going on, I responded to inquiries with aplomb and persuasive claims that "these things take time." Mid-way through the morning of my birthday I emailed Hilary to ask her to not get home before 5pm. At 2:30 I left work, which gave me 2 full hours to buy roses and rose petals, clean the apartment, and bake brownies (for full sensual effect). I proposed on one knee and slid the ring onto her finger. She was too shocked to be emotional. I did it! She was surprised and loved the ring.

That night we met my brother Trevor and sister-in-law Heather for dinner. We stayed silent and waited to see how long it would take before they noticed the ring. There's some history to this. The night Trevor and Heather got engaged I met them for dinner. I didn't noticed the ring for the entire evening, despite Heather waving her hand in my face, and only found out they were engaged the following day when I talked to my parents. In our case, it wasn't until the main course that Trev looked down and did a double take. Trevor, Hilary and I exchanged knowing winks while Heather wondered what she had missed and whether she had something stuck in her teeth. Once she noticed we exchanged a good chuckle and ordered yet more vino!

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